The Reasons Why I Won't
by oakleaf
Summary: When times get tough, it's not necessarily the ones that you know that help you. It's the ones who know how you feel. Fullmetal Alchemist x Fruits Basket Crossover. AU. Minor spoilers for Yuki's past.


**The Reasons Why I Won't**

**Summary: When times get tough, it's not necessarily the ones that you know that help you. It's the ones who know how you feel. Fullmetal Alchemist x Fruits Basket Crossover. AU. Minor spoilers for Yuki's past. **

**A/N: Just pretend, for the sake of the story, that the high school from Fruits Basket was plonked into the Fullmetal Alchemist world, and Ed was going there. Just pretend. There isn't any alchemy or zodiac involved, just character interaction. Set after the failed transmutation. There are minor spoilers for the very start of FMA and a little bit about Yuki's past. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for my insanity. If I did, all the characters would look horribly disproportioned.**

It's been a year since the failed transmutation. I haven't spoken since that night. It's easier for me to be silent. It means I can be invisible to everyone else. I can feel that the past year has all been a dream. Maybe if I keep it up long enough, I'll just wake up and everything will return to normal.

I'm especially concerned for Al. I often imagine the hell I've put him through, and I hate myself for it. But he doesn't and that just makes it worse.

Pinako insists that I go back to school. She thinks that I need to reintegrate. But Al isn't going. They can play off my limbs, but a suit of armour is a bit suspicious. To help me move, they're giving me a normal prosthetic leg, as no one will give me automail unless I ask. I wonder what my classmates think of my new look.

Back at school, things have moved on. I'm moving up to the year I would have been in even if I hadn't missed school. Apparently my marks from the year before were good enough. Still, it means new subjects, new friends, new teachers… I'm not sure if I'm going to get any friends. I didn't have many before, and I can't think of anyone that would want a mute friend who is missing two limbs.

Even though Pinako has already notified the school of my 'infirmity', and the teachers have supposedly been told, everyone looks surprised when they see me. I enter my classroom with my head down, but I can still feel the looks of concern, pity and horror directed at me. One thing, one foolish thing that I did has set me apart from the rest of them.

It's been a few weeks since the start of school, and in Chemistry class we're doing presentations about chemical elements and electron configuration. So far I haven't been called up, but I know my luck won't last forever. Chemistry used to be my favourite class because of its similarity to alchemy and the fact that its foundations are essential alchemy theories. Again I think back to that night. How could I have let Al join me?

"Edward, would you like to do your presentation now?"

I stand out the front of the class and hold up a spiral notebook in which my presentation has been written. This way I don't have anything to say anything. As I near the end of my presentation, someone shouts out.

"Edward! How about saying something, you mute cripple!"

I look down as laughter spreads throughout the classroom. The teacher tries to reprimand the commenter. I glance up briefly and meet the eyes of someone who isn't laughing. They seem to understand, their face grim. More insults fly through the air and the teacher just gives up on calming the class down. I run out. I can't stand it anymore.

I run. I don't know where I'm going and only go faster when I hear footsteps behind me. No doubt it's the teacher. I trip over my feet.

And yet I don't fall. Strong arms wrap themselves around my middle, helping me up and into a sitting position. I finally look up and see the same face as that one that seemed so understanding. It's now I realise that tears are running down my face. I try to stop them. My rescuer sits down beside me.

"It's ok," he whispers, "it's ok to cry."

A few days later, as I walk down the hallways, I see an orange haired kid talking to a grey haired boy. I recognise the grey haired guy. Yuki Sohma, student body president. As I approach, both turn around. The orange kid talks first.

"You're that cripple kid, yeah?"

"Kyo!" Yuki responds, "You're so insensitive."

"I've been investigating you," Kyo starts before Yuki interrupts.

"Someone told me to talk to you. Please come with me." So I follow him with nothing to lose. We end up in a room I think is kept for interviews.

"Sit down," he tells me, but stays standing himself. I sit. He looks me in the eye.

"I've heard many rumours about you. They say you've missed a year of school, and when you come back, you're carrying permanent injuries. I've heard that there was an accident or something. There are some things I know for sure though. I know that since you've come back this year, you haven't spoken a word. Let's make an equivalent exchange: I'll tell you something about my past, you start talking. I don't care to whom or about what." I nod.

"There was a time in my past where I did the same thing. I didn't talk. We probably have different reasons for it, but I felt worthless. I've told this to another person, someone who had other reasons for not talking. She was bullied at school, and was silent so she could disappear. I don't know the reasons why you won't but I'm sure they're good.

"As student body president, I am supposedly in charge of student affairs as well. Someone came to me, someone who wishes to remain anonymous, and told me to talk to you because you seemed down and that I should talk to you and see what happened.

"You should find a reason to talk again. I hope I can provide that for you. Open up and share the grief. Talk, laugh… maybe you'll find that you will feel happier, so you can do what you need to again."

"Thank you," I whisper, voice raspy from lack of use. Yuki come over and pats me on the back lightly. 

"You can stay here for a while. If you arrive to class late, tell them to talk to me. I'll come up with something to tell them."

I stay in the room, letting my decision to talk again sink in.

I walk in late to my next class. The teacher sighs as I walk in.

"Please sit down. We're talking about the quadratic equation."

"Sorry I'm late. I was with Sohma-san."

I feel good that I've surprised everyone. I sit down in the closest available seat. Looking up, I feel nostalgic. This time though, the face is smiling. It's that person that I never got to thank for helping me. I smile back.

Lieutenant Colonel Mustang came and changed my life. I am now going to become a State Alchemist in order to undo the things I have done wrong.

I asked for automail. I know it will be painful, but at least, maybe one day, I will be able to help Al regain his body. Maybe I'll fix the reason that I wouldn't.

Maybe the future will be brighter and louder than the past.

**A/N: This is my first go at a crossover, and my first piece in first person. The OC is completely an OC. He is not of either fandom, just a character I needed. Constructive criticism and/or other comments are great. Review please!**


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